A transparent (and thorough) view of how much clothing I actually own

 Forgive the phone quality photo. My camera is otherwise engaged. 

I have searched high and low, dug through my laundry, emptied out my drawers. I have counted and tallied and here is what I have come up with:

29 shirts (30 if you include my crappy paint-the walls shirt. I choose not to.)
6 dresses/tunics
4 Sweatshirts/cardigans
3 coats
11 pairs of pants (3 leggings, 4 actual pants, and 3 pairs of "exercise pants")
4 skirts
13 pairs of socks
5 bras (including sports bras)
11 pairs of underwear
1 hat
6 scarves
4 pairs of gloves
5 pairs of shoes
7 bags

Assuming I added correctly (and I really dislike math, so I'm not even going to double check), I have 102 articles of clothing. 109 if you think of bags as clothing. I'm tentatively lumping them in with cloth accessories.

As I said in my last post I really like Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and I have since bought and read her newest book, Spark Joy (a sort of illustrated companion guide to the first book). As I try to move towards simplicity, I wanted to use her method to declutter my house in one bold, radical sweep. I very nearly skipped going through my clothes, however, because I have done that so many times before. I just took a rather sizable bag to donate to the local Community Aid, for crying out loud! I actually thought I had a reasonable wardrobe going here. Now, though, I'm not so sure.

Some of you might feel different. For some, 150 items of clothing is probably seems almost scanty, and that is fine! Maybe clothes are your thing. But for me, someone who professes not to care about clothing one way or the other, 102 pieces is a rather shocking amount. Or at least, it surprised me. So while my wonderful husband has the kiddos at the PA Farm Show, I am delving in and "Marie Kondo-ing" my clothes.

2 hours later... 

19 shirts

5 dresses

3 sweatshirts/cardigans

3 coats (One of these I don't necessarily like or want to keep, but winter, y'all.)

7 pairs of pants (now with an appropriate number of exercise pants!)

3 skirts

7 pairs of socks

4 bras

10 pairs of underwear

1 hat (again, winter, y'all.)

4 scarves

3 pairs of gloves (light, heavy, and gardening variety)

5 pairs of shoes 

5 bags 

So we are left with 74 pieces of clothing... or 79, if you include bags. That is 30 things gone in total. This really doesn't seem like a lot of stuff does it? And it isn't. But I am sitting on my bed surrounded by clothes and thinking back to when I started my whole minimalist journey. I started out with maybe 150 pieces of clothing (I can't remember exactly, it was a long while ago. If we go waaaay back to the very beginning, it was like 3-3.5 years)... and this number was not counting shoes, socks, underwear, bras, bags, or any accessories at all. I've come a long way since then.

And the truth is, I didn't whittle things down as much as I could have... I am looking at one blue skirt next to me, for example, that I am just not sure about. Pretty much anything I wasn't sure about, I kept, hoping to get rid of it or keep it with more confidence. As I have time to see and think with more clarity about what I actually wear, I hope to shed more things as the year goes on.

But the whole point of this exercise (and of minimalism in general!) is not to be left with the bare minimum! The point is to weed out some of the excess that I could better appreciate the things that I really like... or in Marie Kondo's words, the things that "spark joy". Does everything that I have in my closet (or spread all over my bed) right now cause a thrill? Maybe not. But maybe, just maybe, one day I will get to a point where it all will. Either way, I am thankful for what I have right now. And that it enough.

Now if you will please excuse me... I have a lot of clothes to fold...

Resolutions 2016

 

Well Happy New Year... a week late. Totally didn't get to this post as fast as I had hoped to. As I mentioned in my last post, we were on vacation. And when you have 2 kids under 3, vacations aren't the kind of relaxing vacations everyone dreams about. They are nothing short of stressful. I may go more in depth about vacationing with toddler-monsters another time, but I really wanted to speak at greater length about new years resolutions. Having an extra week to flesh out my ideas on how I want to do this has really helped.

Initially, I started with a list of things that I wanted to do or improve... fostering better eating habits, exercising and the like, but after some thought, I've realized that everything boils down to three different ideas: improving my health, my spiritual life, and continuing down the road of becoming a minimalist. These are really broad, not easily measurable goals though. So I broke the overarching goals down and asked myself what habits I need to form to improve these different aspects of my life. It is supposed to take about a month to form a habit (sometimes shorter, sometimes longer, but a month is a good starting point). So this year I am dedicating each month this year to a habit I wish to form. Ideally the habits will continue beyond the month that I concentrate on it and become a regular part of life.

Now that is ideally how things will turn out, but I am also realistic. I don't expect all of these to stick forever (however much I hope they will!) But I figure that by taking on these habits one by one instead of all at once, I am giving them their best chance at sticking.

Changing habits gradually, one at a time, this is not a new thing, folks. Totally not my idea. I wish I were that bright. I don't know what brilliant mind first coined the idea, but there are some people who I greatly admire who have paved my way. I am sure there are more than these 3, but off of the top of my head, this is who I've got:
Jen Hatmaker, a Christian speaker and writer who has a snarky sense of humor and who was totally my "gateway drug" into minimalism and environmentalism, wrote a book called 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess . In this book, she took a look at 7 areas in her life that needed a change, and took 7 months to shake thing up a bit. It was an extreme way of doing things, but It paved the way for smaller, more sustainable changes in her life.
Leo Babauta, a super-minimalist, father of six and author of the blog zen habits, offered a course last year called "Sea Change" which focuses on creating and nurturing 12 beneficial habits in 12 months. He offers something similar every year, if you want to get on that. I um... sort of followed last year, and it was really great, but I didn't take it for all it was worth, I am afraid.
Madeleine Somerville, environmentalist, blogger-extraordinaire, author of All You Need is Less and the reason I wash my hair with baking soda, took this month-by-month approach to resolutions a few years back and wrote a bit in her blog about the experience. This is kinda the model I am using. (Incidentally, I may or may not have a girl-crush on you, Madeleine. Hope that doesn't creep you out.) Aaaanyways. On with the breakdown.

Health: 

Does this even need an explanatory blurb? Physical Health is usually divided into 2 categories. Diet and exercise. Like most everyone who bothers with new years resolutions, I struggle here. And I almost cringe because of how many other people have these exact same resolutions, but here we go anyways. 

Yoga: Despite my crazy, overthinking, totally-don't-even-know-where-that-came-from post where I agonized whether or not I should do yoga... I am doing yoga. I started in December when a gym near my house did free classes for the month, and got hooked. I'd love to start going 2 days a week. I'd love to do more, actually, but realistically, I don't know if that will happen. I got off track when we went on vacation, and I don't want to sign up for a membership to a gym now when EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD is going because of their own resolutions. So, I will be banking on people dropping out in the first month, and I will join up when things are a little less crowded.

Biking: This one wasn't entirely my idea. Over the last 8 months or so, my husband has become a rather avid cyclist. You know those crazy people who go outside to exercise in below freezing weather? The ones you goggle at or poke fun at? The love of my life is one of them, depriving me of my own goggling and mocking pursuits. So now, in an effort to have a happy heart and a happy husband, I am going to start biking. Its a shame cardiac health matters. *sigh*

Portions: Overall, I really think that I have a fairly balanced and healthy diet. I "cheat" every now and again, but seriously, people, live a little. What I don't do well, is watch how much I eat. I love eating, and I love eating more than I should, both in the "I really like eating" kind of way and  in the "This is my eighth chocolate chip cookie" kind of way. Not sure yet this will look, yet, but there you go.

Family Dinners: Loads of studies that I don't feel like looking up and linking to have concluded again and again that regularly eating a home cooked meal together is good for families and waistlines alike, and it is something that I really want to be more intentional about with my family. Again, details to be finalized, but I know we need to work on this.

Sleep: I'd love to change my sleeping habits up a bit. I get enough sleep now, I think, but I want to see if I can shift gears to become more of a morning person. I am a night owl by nature, and before kiddos this was no problem. But now I am so crazy busy during the day that by the evening when I should be most productive, I am sapped of all strength. This might not be specifically related to health, but I thought I'd stick it here anyways.

Minimalism/Environmentalism:

There are so many great resources out there about minimalism, that I'm not going to bother explaining what exactly it is here, particularly as it has different meanings for different people.  If you want to read about minimalism though, I highly recommend this article by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com and this article by "the minimalists" Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. Suffice it to say that this year, I am trying to become more minimalist and environmentally friendly in my habits, my spending and my home.  

Decluttering: I have a confession. I won't just be making one month out of this one (unless you do something pretty drastic, it will take more than 1 month to declutter your house), but it is certainly something I want to do this year, and it certainly fits into the minimalist category. For awhile now, my husband and I have been battling the clutter in our home. So, I plan on (yet again) reading Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and go through our things using her systematic approach. I have started this before and never completely finished out her method. I do great through the clothes in books, trip up with papers because its so overwhelming, skip to "komono" (or miscellaneous items), which there is even more of and totally fizzle out. But, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again, as the saying goes. And on the bright side... there's not much to release from my closet at this point.

Buy Nothing Month: Part of the reason that we are continually battling clutter in my house is that it just keeps creeping back in. I tried a buy nothing quarter (3 months) at the end of last year and totally bombed. Buying nothing doesn't happen so easily over the Christmas Holidays. But, to reset our spending habits and stop the tide, I am going to do a buy nothing month this year. I will set down my rules when my Buy Nothing Month Begins.

Waste: According to the EPA, the average American generates 4.4 pounds of trash each day. That comes out to a whopping 132 pounds a month and a staggering 1,606 pounds. People, the trash we dispose of each year weighs more than a full grown male moose. And that is just one person. Imagine everyone on your street throwing away a moose. Now your city. Now your state. Its incredibly, incredibly daunting. This year, though, I want to put my moose on a diet. I don't aspire to be totally waste free existence... I don't think I am up for that, but I still want to produce less garbage than I currently do. So, for one month I won't alter my habits, I will just keep track of LITERALLY everything I throw away or stick in the recycling bin. At the end of that month is when the habit changing begins. By seeing where and when and why I produce the most trash, I can target these times and improve them. That is where producing less waste really starts.

Spiritually:

I am a Christian, and have been for awhile. But faith is not stagnant, not a once and done deal, it is a living thing that changes and grows as you do. I've realized for some time though, that my relationship with God has not grown as much as I would like. So:

Devotions: I pray a lot... but so often my prayers are talking at God rather than with Him, often asking for something or other. I'm sure many other parents are familiar with some of my prayers: An exhausted, "Dear God, please help Amelia and Bini sleep a full night tonight!", a long suffering, "God, please help me to be patient...", or the desperate pleading, "Lord Jesus, PLEASE help us find Bear!" (Bear is the most important stuffed animal in our house. If you have never lost your child's lovey just before bedtime, you can't understand this last one.) So much of my time is spent talking at God, that I don't take the time to listen.
So to address this, my husband and I are together developing a habit of (almost... I'm not perfect) daily scripture reading as a couple. We have started this already, and already have accidentally skipped 2 days. Whoops.

Prayer: Yeah, I know, I already said that I prayed a lot. But I want to set aside some time each day for intentional prayer. Don't know yet exactly what this will look like, but that is the basis.

***

 If you were counting, you will have noticed that I don't have 12 habits laid out. I have 9. This will enable me to adjust to my new habits for awhile without adding things in. It will also provide me with some wiggle room, because things tend to crop up, and its always wise to build in times to just let life happen. But if things go according to plan, the next year will look something like this:

January: Devotions
February: Yoga
March: Prayer
April: Breathe
May: Portions
June: Biking (I will be biking before June, but I will set some actual biking goals for this month)
July: Family Dinners
August: Breathe/ Start tracking trash for next month
September: Waste
October: Sleep
November: Buy Nothing Month. Hopefully this will get me into the right mindset before Christmas.
December: Breathe/ Reflect

And there you have it! Happy 2016 everyone! Wishing you all a very blessed year!

On failing and of holiday stress.

So I have come to the conclusion that I made a foolish decision basing a blog off of a 3 month no buy challenge. Especially one that takes place OVER CHRISTMAS for crying out loud. Total epic fail. *Sigh.*

This is why people do year long no buying challenges. Because they get to practice before all of the really hard stuff hits. I thought that this would be possible for me to do. I really did. And if I had all the time in the world, then it totally would be. I had plans to finish Victor's quiet book and make a cute little doll for Amelia, and do a more experience gift for my husband (I had a Mutemath concert in my sights.) But people, I do. not. have. the. time. Not when I've essentially promised paintings to my mom and dad this year too. There is no way I will get this quiet book done, especially when I was hoping to finish crocheting Bini's Christmas stocking, but still I press on. Amelia may or may not even like a doll. Andy preemptively bought concert tickets. Haven't started the 2 paintings. I haven't even thought about my in-laws. Yikes.

I know that in the grand scheme of things this is so not a big deal. As an aspiring minimalist (lets all face it, that's what I'm aiming for, isn't it?) I shouldn't care about the stuff part of the holidays. But I kinda do. And that in itself bothers me. Its ridiculous.

So I am trying to keep two things in my head at the same time.
1. I am trying to concentrate on what really matters this Christmas and that gifts are such a small part of it. How it began with God's gift to us, and how that is what we should be celebrating. I'm trying to concentrate on the fun family traditions that add to the seasons instead of detracting from it.
2. I'm trying to figure out what the heck I am going to do for gifts. (Sigh)

Anyways, I will freely admit that I am going to epically fail at the buy nothing challenge that I arbitrarily set for myself. But you know what? I don't care (or at least, I only care a little). Up until this point, after all, I've actually done pretty good. But also because so far I've actually kinda enjoyed the blogging aspect of it. Its... cathartic. I see why people do it. So the blog has been worth is, despite not having many entries. Who knows? I may even make it a more regular thing.

Though I am not sold on the whole title. "The Shelf-Help Monologues" has a ring to it, but I feel like it promises some sort of assistance for... um... shelving? Though the monologues part is certainly true. Ramblings might be more like it.

But if you ever feel like making this monologue a dialogue, feel free to chime in!

Of Weddings, Car Rides, and Kangaroos

 I got to pet a kangaroo. No, really, I did. Look at the picture. Look at it, I say! Kangaroos are precious and shockingly soft. Ok, now I will continue...

On Monday, my family and I returned from Nashville, Tennessee, where my brother and (now) sister-in-law held their wedding. I wouldn't have missed it for the world, but I have to admit that getting my whole family down there was quite an ordeal. 2 kids, one of them 1 year old and the other just 2 years old in the car for 12 hours is a mighty undertaking. It involves many stops, car toys and snacks, and more than a little bit of fussing. But we made it!

Andy's parents (so, my in-laws) are incredibly wonderful and generous people, and decided to rent a 4 bedroom house a few days in Nashville so that we wouldn't have to rent a hotel. ("We" included my family of 4, Andy's brother and his wife, and Andy's other brother and his girlfriend. And Andy's parents of course.) This was wonderful in theory, of course, but we forgot to account for the generous spirit of each of the other family members in turn.

You see my brother lived in Pennsylvania (where we are now) before he moved to Tennessee, and a lot of friends that he invited came from here. So when we had a house and a group of people who couldn't afford to both travel to Tennessee and stay there too, a house to fit 10 rapidly was accommodating 14 instead. Which doesn't seem like a lot more, but let me tell you, it made for a full house.

The wedding itself was lovely. An outdoor ceremony moved indoors due to weather. It was a little tight maybe, but ultimately great. I wish we could have stayed for the reception. Also I wish I had pictures, but I had no camera. So there is that. Sorry, Ben and Jordan. I can't wait to see what other people took!

Then it was off to home. This drive was not to be like the first. The first was at night. The kids slept somewhat. The drive home was to be a brutal 12 hour trek through daylight with kids who would in all probability be awake. For the love. So finding rest stops was absolutely imperative. That is how we made it to Kentucky Down Under Adventure Zoo . And this, friends, is where we got to pet kangaroos.

Oh, also we fed rainbow lorikeets.

Anyways, the not spending money wasn't perfect this month, with weddings and trips and such, (Lets face it, I probably overspent my normal budget on stuff, in the end,) but the fact is that the money we spent went to things and people that we care about, not on random stuff. I have to tell you, that feels really great. And having a little leftover cash for a trip to the zoo was pretty great too.

I meant to post this yesterday, but we lost power last night, so it didn't happen. I'll have more to say about that a little bit later.

Of Blenders and Birthdays

Yesterday, my daughter, Amelia, turned 2 years old. Oh my goodness people. I don't even know what to say on the topic... Can my baby really be 2? 2!? Heaven forbid.

Well lets face it... Amelia is incredibly bright and fabulous, and in actions, attitude and mannerisms, she's been essentially 2 for awhile. But yesterday made it official. I have a 2 year old. And I may be a bit in shock.

Andy and I bought her birthday presents before this buy nothing experiment even started... (by the way, my little challenge is almost 2 weeks old today! Hooray!) and we got her what I am sure every 2 year old wants... a pillow and a blanket. The pillow is one of those "husband" pillows with the little arms on the side that you can lean against and the blanket is actually just a piece of material that Amelia decided that she loved when we were at the fabric store one day. For my son's one year old birthday less than a month ago, I made him a pillowcase and bought him an interesting little wooden toy. We didn't do all that much.

But people, we didn't need to. Now, I don't mean this in a "kids don't need as many toys as we think they do" (though this is certainly true) kind of way or that our kids have enough toys already and we didn't want to buy them any more (ok, this is true, too...) What I mean by "we didn't need to" is that we have the first 2 grandchildren on both sides of the family and even if we actively tried to prevent people from giving Amelia and Victor toys it wouldn't happen. They would still get toys

So on their birthdays, my kids get a whole heck-ton of toys. In many ways, I am really touched by this incredible display of affection for my daughter and son. They spent hard earned money on them after all, and gave them things that they thought that they would like.

So what is the problem here?

For a while now, I have been following blogs like Joshua Becker's www.becomingminimalist.com and Leo Babauta's zenhabits.net... There are so many other great bloggers on minimalism, that it is a travesty to just name two, but those are the one's that come first to my mind. The minimalist lifestyle appeals to me greatly, and I can't honestly say that I am thrilled about adding more to our already cluttered house. I have been battling clutter for just about forever, and I am sick of it. It is one of the reasons I am doing a little "buy nothing for a quarter year" challenge for myself. With a 1 year old and a 2 year old, time for serious decluttering sessions are slim pickings, and I think the only real way that my 5 or 10 minutes here or there will make a difference is if things stop coming into my house.

Why I thought this would work with Christmas coming up is beyond me. I am clearly a crazy person.

On the subject of toys... my poor blender broke yesterday. This was no small blow to me. I use my blender for everything, and I use it hard. Shakes, mayonnaise, icing, pancake batter, you name it, and my blender has blended it. (Possibly this is how it got in such a state.) And yes, the canister is being held together by gorilla tape. It has a massive crack down the side of it and it leaks horridly, even after the masterful tape-up. Actually, I thought that would be the first to go, but you can always get a new canister for a blender, and I was counting down the days until I could ask for one from my husband and reasonably call it an early Christmas gift. What I didn't count on was black, vile smelling SMOKE pouring out of it while it was running, and the engine refusing to stop until I forced it to by unplugging it. I legitimately thought it was going to blow up. So... now its been declared dead.

Which is a shame because I used my blender all. the. time. and I can't buy a new one lest I break a self imposed challenge rule. Never fear, though, I am now borrowing one from my mother-in-law, so I won't be breaking any rules. Yet. But I want to. Oh, do I want to.

No Buying Challenge Rules

And so it has begun. Today is October first and so begins my little spending fast. I've been giving some thought to how this will work, and I am going to divide it up into some categories and make some rules for each category.

Food

I've decided not to buy any for the next 3 months. 

Ok, I lie. Obviously. We need food. You may be wondering why I even need this in this list. The fact is I do a lot of my impulse buys at the grocery store. Interesting new ingredients, stuff that I like to have around but don't really need for my grocery shopping this week, a thing of gum at the checkout... 

So trying to curb this impulse, I am going to be making a weekly menu, making a shopping list and buying ONLY WHAT IS ON THE LIST, DARN IT! Not a new and innovative idea, I know, but  something that I desperately need to work on...

Clothing

I believe that everyone has their own Achilles heel when it comes to shopping. I know for my mother it is undoubtedly clothes. I have not inherited this gene from her (there is a clothes buying gene, right?) and so theoretically it should be easy for me not to buy clothes for the next 3 months. But here is the little catch... I have an almost 2 year old daughter and a 1 year old son WHO GROW LIKE WEEDS! Seriously guys. These kids grow overnight. I put them to bed in jammies that are too big, I get them out of bed and lo and behold, what were long pants are now mid calf. So here are my clothing rules/ goals:

For the Kids:
1. Figure out how many clothes they actually need and buy only those things which are deemed absolutely necessary. (ie. Amelia's toes will soon burst through the front of her shoes, her feet have grown so much. We will need new ones in the next couple of weeks. Not necessary are snow boots for Bini, who cannot walk yet.) Sound fair? Ok moving on,
2. Buy second hand, where we need to buy at all.
3. Buy only the things which will fit them now, not that size 4T dress because it is just so cute and she will fit in it eventually. 

For Me:
1. Don't buy clothes
2. Unless I magically shrink out of my current clothes and actually truly need new ones (This is the goal, people. But I am not so crazy as to absolutely expect it. For diet and exercise commitment issues, see my previous post)
3. Clothes wearing out is not an excuse to buy new clothes, unless they are absolutely beyond repair. A button or a patch I can sew on, a gaping hole in the crotch continuing down the leg I can do nothing about.
4. If the unthinkable happens and I lose several inches, buy secondhand.
Exceptions: There is one thing that I know I need to buy... I am in my brother's wedding later this month, and while I have a dress, I have not got shoes. If I cannot borrow (my preferred method) I will have to buy.

Books

Books need their own category. I love books. I love to read. But for the next few months:
No new books. This includes digital (oh beloved kindle) and audio (audible, I adore thee) and real live honest to goodness books (oh the luxury of real pages to turn!)
I wanted desperately to think of some exception... but seriously, I have no excuses. I live less than 6 minutes away from our local library.

Gifts/Toys

It has not escaped me that I am doing this OVER THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS (forcryingoutloudwhatwasieventhinking?) So here is where I am with this... 

Gifts will be:

1. Consumable (candles, soaps, yummy food) or

2. Experience based (concert tickets, memberships, weekend getaway, etc.)

3. Homemade

4. Money. This is a last resort. Except for my brothers, possibly, who ONLY want money for Christmas.

Heaven help us all. 

Art Supplies and Crafting Stuff

I am an artist (watercolors and ink, for those who are curious.) I love going to a good art supply store and just walking around, stroking paper, ogling paints, running paintbrushes through my fingers. 

Now this could be a bit tricky (Thanks to my resolution not to buy Christmas from the store this year... for the love...) but I did come up with some rules:

1. I can replace any paints or brushes that I run out of/use into oblivion, but I cannot upgrade or buy new stuff just for kicks and giggles. Also I can buy more paper only when I run out.

2. Craft stuff with be for specific projects only... Example, felt for the quiet book I am making for Bini, material for the doll I am making for Amelia, wood for the chests that we are making for them both... you get the picture. 

3. Things found at the craft store that are clearly not actually crafts, they just want you to buy them for your kids (I am looking at you, stuffed animals) are a no-no. Sorry kids. 

That's all I can think of for the moment. I may think of more.

Miscellaneous

I know that there is so much stuff that I could make categories and rules for... music, games, electronics, home decor, pet stuff, outdoor equipment... I could go on and on and on. But mostly this is stuff that doesn't tend to intrude on my buying radar so often. So for now I am just going to let it be. This is the stuff that I deal with most often... someone else might have an entirely different list. I know someone, for instance who would need a whole category dedicated to cosmetics. If I think of something terribly obvious that I missed, I will happily add to this. 

Some last things to discuss:

I will probably mess up at some point here. I've heard somewhere that to err is human, so... yeah. I am going to TRY not to and to stick to my rules 100%, but we shall see. And if I don't, I promise that I shall plead your pardon and tell you exactly what I bought. And then you can all judge me and mock me and tell me I suck at life. I mean, if you are really that mean. I have a thick skin though, and I can deal with you thinking I'm flaky. 

Also in an effort to really be conscious of my consumerist thoughts, I am going to write down what I actually do purchase... as well as everything else I want to buy. I am hoping by seeing these things on paper, I can recognize how my mind is still in the "machine" and how I don't really need them. And then, if all goes well, I can, in the end, not even want them. 

After all, wanting less is even better than having less.