A transparent (and thorough) view of how much clothing I actually own

 Forgive the phone quality photo. My camera is otherwise engaged. 

I have searched high and low, dug through my laundry, emptied out my drawers. I have counted and tallied and here is what I have come up with:

29 shirts (30 if you include my crappy paint-the walls shirt. I choose not to.)
6 dresses/tunics
4 Sweatshirts/cardigans
3 coats
11 pairs of pants (3 leggings, 4 actual pants, and 3 pairs of "exercise pants")
4 skirts
13 pairs of socks
5 bras (including sports bras)
11 pairs of underwear
1 hat
6 scarves
4 pairs of gloves
5 pairs of shoes
7 bags

Assuming I added correctly (and I really dislike math, so I'm not even going to double check), I have 102 articles of clothing. 109 if you think of bags as clothing. I'm tentatively lumping them in with cloth accessories.

As I said in my last post I really like Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and I have since bought and read her newest book, Spark Joy (a sort of illustrated companion guide to the first book). As I try to move towards simplicity, I wanted to use her method to declutter my house in one bold, radical sweep. I very nearly skipped going through my clothes, however, because I have done that so many times before. I just took a rather sizable bag to donate to the local Community Aid, for crying out loud! I actually thought I had a reasonable wardrobe going here. Now, though, I'm not so sure.

Some of you might feel different. For some, 150 items of clothing is probably seems almost scanty, and that is fine! Maybe clothes are your thing. But for me, someone who professes not to care about clothing one way or the other, 102 pieces is a rather shocking amount. Or at least, it surprised me. So while my wonderful husband has the kiddos at the PA Farm Show, I am delving in and "Marie Kondo-ing" my clothes.

2 hours later... 

19 shirts

5 dresses

3 sweatshirts/cardigans

3 coats (One of these I don't necessarily like or want to keep, but winter, y'all.)

7 pairs of pants (now with an appropriate number of exercise pants!)

3 skirts

7 pairs of socks

4 bras

10 pairs of underwear

1 hat (again, winter, y'all.)

4 scarves

3 pairs of gloves (light, heavy, and gardening variety)

5 pairs of shoes 

5 bags 

So we are left with 74 pieces of clothing... or 79, if you include bags. That is 30 things gone in total. This really doesn't seem like a lot of stuff does it? And it isn't. But I am sitting on my bed surrounded by clothes and thinking back to when I started my whole minimalist journey. I started out with maybe 150 pieces of clothing (I can't remember exactly, it was a long while ago. If we go waaaay back to the very beginning, it was like 3-3.5 years)... and this number was not counting shoes, socks, underwear, bras, bags, or any accessories at all. I've come a long way since then.

And the truth is, I didn't whittle things down as much as I could have... I am looking at one blue skirt next to me, for example, that I am just not sure about. Pretty much anything I wasn't sure about, I kept, hoping to get rid of it or keep it with more confidence. As I have time to see and think with more clarity about what I actually wear, I hope to shed more things as the year goes on.

But the whole point of this exercise (and of minimalism in general!) is not to be left with the bare minimum! The point is to weed out some of the excess that I could better appreciate the things that I really like... or in Marie Kondo's words, the things that "spark joy". Does everything that I have in my closet (or spread all over my bed) right now cause a thrill? Maybe not. But maybe, just maybe, one day I will get to a point where it all will. Either way, I am thankful for what I have right now. And that it enough.

Now if you will please excuse me... I have a lot of clothes to fold...

Resolutions 2016

 

Well Happy New Year... a week late. Totally didn't get to this post as fast as I had hoped to. As I mentioned in my last post, we were on vacation. And when you have 2 kids under 3, vacations aren't the kind of relaxing vacations everyone dreams about. They are nothing short of stressful. I may go more in depth about vacationing with toddler-monsters another time, but I really wanted to speak at greater length about new years resolutions. Having an extra week to flesh out my ideas on how I want to do this has really helped.

Initially, I started with a list of things that I wanted to do or improve... fostering better eating habits, exercising and the like, but after some thought, I've realized that everything boils down to three different ideas: improving my health, my spiritual life, and continuing down the road of becoming a minimalist. These are really broad, not easily measurable goals though. So I broke the overarching goals down and asked myself what habits I need to form to improve these different aspects of my life. It is supposed to take about a month to form a habit (sometimes shorter, sometimes longer, but a month is a good starting point). So this year I am dedicating each month this year to a habit I wish to form. Ideally the habits will continue beyond the month that I concentrate on it and become a regular part of life.

Now that is ideally how things will turn out, but I am also realistic. I don't expect all of these to stick forever (however much I hope they will!) But I figure that by taking on these habits one by one instead of all at once, I am giving them their best chance at sticking.

Changing habits gradually, one at a time, this is not a new thing, folks. Totally not my idea. I wish I were that bright. I don't know what brilliant mind first coined the idea, but there are some people who I greatly admire who have paved my way. I am sure there are more than these 3, but off of the top of my head, this is who I've got:
Jen Hatmaker, a Christian speaker and writer who has a snarky sense of humor and who was totally my "gateway drug" into minimalism and environmentalism, wrote a book called 7: An Experimental Mutiny Against Excess . In this book, she took a look at 7 areas in her life that needed a change, and took 7 months to shake thing up a bit. It was an extreme way of doing things, but It paved the way for smaller, more sustainable changes in her life.
Leo Babauta, a super-minimalist, father of six and author of the blog zen habits, offered a course last year called "Sea Change" which focuses on creating and nurturing 12 beneficial habits in 12 months. He offers something similar every year, if you want to get on that. I um... sort of followed last year, and it was really great, but I didn't take it for all it was worth, I am afraid.
Madeleine Somerville, environmentalist, blogger-extraordinaire, author of All You Need is Less and the reason I wash my hair with baking soda, took this month-by-month approach to resolutions a few years back and wrote a bit in her blog about the experience. This is kinda the model I am using. (Incidentally, I may or may not have a girl-crush on you, Madeleine. Hope that doesn't creep you out.) Aaaanyways. On with the breakdown.

Health: 

Does this even need an explanatory blurb? Physical Health is usually divided into 2 categories. Diet and exercise. Like most everyone who bothers with new years resolutions, I struggle here. And I almost cringe because of how many other people have these exact same resolutions, but here we go anyways. 

Yoga: Despite my crazy, overthinking, totally-don't-even-know-where-that-came-from post where I agonized whether or not I should do yoga... I am doing yoga. I started in December when a gym near my house did free classes for the month, and got hooked. I'd love to start going 2 days a week. I'd love to do more, actually, but realistically, I don't know if that will happen. I got off track when we went on vacation, and I don't want to sign up for a membership to a gym now when EVERYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD is going because of their own resolutions. So, I will be banking on people dropping out in the first month, and I will join up when things are a little less crowded.

Biking: This one wasn't entirely my idea. Over the last 8 months or so, my husband has become a rather avid cyclist. You know those crazy people who go outside to exercise in below freezing weather? The ones you goggle at or poke fun at? The love of my life is one of them, depriving me of my own goggling and mocking pursuits. So now, in an effort to have a happy heart and a happy husband, I am going to start biking. Its a shame cardiac health matters. *sigh*

Portions: Overall, I really think that I have a fairly balanced and healthy diet. I "cheat" every now and again, but seriously, people, live a little. What I don't do well, is watch how much I eat. I love eating, and I love eating more than I should, both in the "I really like eating" kind of way and  in the "This is my eighth chocolate chip cookie" kind of way. Not sure yet this will look, yet, but there you go.

Family Dinners: Loads of studies that I don't feel like looking up and linking to have concluded again and again that regularly eating a home cooked meal together is good for families and waistlines alike, and it is something that I really want to be more intentional about with my family. Again, details to be finalized, but I know we need to work on this.

Sleep: I'd love to change my sleeping habits up a bit. I get enough sleep now, I think, but I want to see if I can shift gears to become more of a morning person. I am a night owl by nature, and before kiddos this was no problem. But now I am so crazy busy during the day that by the evening when I should be most productive, I am sapped of all strength. This might not be specifically related to health, but I thought I'd stick it here anyways.

Minimalism/Environmentalism:

There are so many great resources out there about minimalism, that I'm not going to bother explaining what exactly it is here, particularly as it has different meanings for different people.  If you want to read about minimalism though, I highly recommend this article by Joshua Becker of becomingminimalist.com and this article by "the minimalists" Joshua Fields Millburn and Ryan Nicodemus. Suffice it to say that this year, I am trying to become more minimalist and environmentally friendly in my habits, my spending and my home.  

Decluttering: I have a confession. I won't just be making one month out of this one (unless you do something pretty drastic, it will take more than 1 month to declutter your house), but it is certainly something I want to do this year, and it certainly fits into the minimalist category. For awhile now, my husband and I have been battling the clutter in our home. So, I plan on (yet again) reading Marie Kondo's The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up and go through our things using her systematic approach. I have started this before and never completely finished out her method. I do great through the clothes in books, trip up with papers because its so overwhelming, skip to "komono" (or miscellaneous items), which there is even more of and totally fizzle out. But, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again, as the saying goes. And on the bright side... there's not much to release from my closet at this point.

Buy Nothing Month: Part of the reason that we are continually battling clutter in my house is that it just keeps creeping back in. I tried a buy nothing quarter (3 months) at the end of last year and totally bombed. Buying nothing doesn't happen so easily over the Christmas Holidays. But, to reset our spending habits and stop the tide, I am going to do a buy nothing month this year. I will set down my rules when my Buy Nothing Month Begins.

Waste: According to the EPA, the average American generates 4.4 pounds of trash each day. That comes out to a whopping 132 pounds a month and a staggering 1,606 pounds. People, the trash we dispose of each year weighs more than a full grown male moose. And that is just one person. Imagine everyone on your street throwing away a moose. Now your city. Now your state. Its incredibly, incredibly daunting. This year, though, I want to put my moose on a diet. I don't aspire to be totally waste free existence... I don't think I am up for that, but I still want to produce less garbage than I currently do. So, for one month I won't alter my habits, I will just keep track of LITERALLY everything I throw away or stick in the recycling bin. At the end of that month is when the habit changing begins. By seeing where and when and why I produce the most trash, I can target these times and improve them. That is where producing less waste really starts.

Spiritually:

I am a Christian, and have been for awhile. But faith is not stagnant, not a once and done deal, it is a living thing that changes and grows as you do. I've realized for some time though, that my relationship with God has not grown as much as I would like. So:

Devotions: I pray a lot... but so often my prayers are talking at God rather than with Him, often asking for something or other. I'm sure many other parents are familiar with some of my prayers: An exhausted, "Dear God, please help Amelia and Bini sleep a full night tonight!", a long suffering, "God, please help me to be patient...", or the desperate pleading, "Lord Jesus, PLEASE help us find Bear!" (Bear is the most important stuffed animal in our house. If you have never lost your child's lovey just before bedtime, you can't understand this last one.) So much of my time is spent talking at God, that I don't take the time to listen.
So to address this, my husband and I are together developing a habit of (almost... I'm not perfect) daily scripture reading as a couple. We have started this already, and already have accidentally skipped 2 days. Whoops.

Prayer: Yeah, I know, I already said that I prayed a lot. But I want to set aside some time each day for intentional prayer. Don't know yet exactly what this will look like, but that is the basis.

***

 If you were counting, you will have noticed that I don't have 12 habits laid out. I have 9. This will enable me to adjust to my new habits for awhile without adding things in. It will also provide me with some wiggle room, because things tend to crop up, and its always wise to build in times to just let life happen. But if things go according to plan, the next year will look something like this:

January: Devotions
February: Yoga
March: Prayer
April: Breathe
May: Portions
June: Biking (I will be biking before June, but I will set some actual biking goals for this month)
July: Family Dinners
August: Breathe/ Start tracking trash for next month
September: Waste
October: Sleep
November: Buy Nothing Month. Hopefully this will get me into the right mindset before Christmas.
December: Breathe/ Reflect

And there you have it! Happy 2016 everyone! Wishing you all a very blessed year!

Christmas is over, and we all know what's next...

Everyone knows what comes after Christmas. You knew it was coming before Christmas arrived, but now it is staring you in the face. No, not the post-holiday clean up (surely you are all cleaned up by now anyways, right??? Riiiiiiight???!?) and not the inevitable looking around the house in bewilderment and wondering what do do with they sudden influx of stuff your house has to deal with. Not the sugar detox, not the decoration putting away party. While all these things are coming or have come, I am talking not talking about these. I am talking about the new year. Ah,  2015, its been fun, but her is a bright, shiny, yet untouched New Year!

For the longest time, I didn't take new years resolutions seriously. In fact, I had the same new years resolution for many years running that I could break and keep all at the same time. "I resolve never to make another new year's resolution." And I kept it until the next year when I would break it by making the resolution again, but I never really broke it because it was the same one. See the way my mind was working here? I was about... 17 or so when I came up with this and thought myself desperately clever. My 26 year old self rolls her eyes.

I still take new years resolutions with a grain of salt. Yes, I am sure you will lose 100 pounds. Of course you will go to the gym every day of 2016. Naturally, it will be the easiest thing in the world to write a book about... what was it you said again? Yes, if anyone is going to solve the problems of string theory, it will be you. Lured by the promise of something new, people try to remake themselves every single year, and every single year they are disappointed when they fail. Many start off the new year determined, but still with a seed of resignation in their heart, knowing that they will trip up all over again. I know that not all people out there are total defeatists, but come on, y'all, don't we all feel that way a little bit sometimes?
There is also the matter of what do you most want to change? Will this year be about health? (lose some weight? start working out? become a vegetarian?) Will this year be about your artistic passion? (write that book? paint a masterpiece? learn to play the bagpipes?) Or maybe it will be about personal growth? (meditate daily? do a year long devotional?) There are literally infinite possibilities- infinite categories in which you can better yourself.

But this year, I am once more hopping on the new years resolution bandwagon. And I have decided to work on improving not 1, not 2, but 12 different areas!

Whoa, now, slow down! If doing just 1 thing for 1 year seems impossible, how can you possibly expect to do 12 things for 1 year?

Well, the goal isn't to start off all at once on January 1st, trying to change my spending habits, AND my sleeping habits, AND my workout habits, AND my eating habits (you get the idea) all at once. The idea isn't to change all at once... that would be exhausting and defeating and there is just no way, people. There is. Just. No. Way.

But according to research (that I haven't done, but I think I've head or read about somewhere) says that it takes (about) a month to create a habit. So what I would like to do is spend one month working on a change, integrating it as a part of my life, and then the next month, try to integrate different habit, so that by the end of the month, I'll have made 12 changes in as many months.

I have been thinking about what I'd like these to be, and while I have a good idea, I haven't totally planned it all out yet... So while my husband and mother-in-law are taking the kiddos to look at alligators in the everglades (we're on vacation in Key Largo... did I mention that? Its so nice out you can positively taste the sunshine! What a change from rainy Pennsylvania!) I am going to have a think, work on a plan and write some more tomorrow. Till then!

Christmas Tradtitions (The Davidson Side)

Now that Christmas is over and I am on vacation, I have time again. And I promised myself that i would write a bit about the Christmas Traditions coming from my side of the family.

With the Davidsons, tradition centers more around Christmas Eve and Christmas day, as opposed to the events leading up until Christmas.

There is the Christmas Eve party where everyone in my family (and I do mean EVERYONE, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, boyfriends and girlfriends of all involved...) crams together into somebody's house where we eat delectable food and exchange gifts. After everyone eats we crowd into a room and the younger children read take turns reading the sections of the Christmas story. Its really a beautiful thing to have the whole family together in one room and reading together the whole reason for Christmas. (somehow this didn't end up happening this year, which was really really sad to me). After that, the under 16 crowd do a "Secret Santa" (the names for which are typically exchanged at Thanksgiving). But the adults do a somewhat cutthroat version of white elephant gifts.

If you don't do a white elephant gift exchange, you totally should. Its the best. Here is how it works: Everyone brings a gift with no name on it and puts it in a heap of other gifts on the floor. The participating crowd draws numbers, and the fun begins. The first person picks a gift, which is fairly boring. But when number 2 gets his turn, he can choose to pick a gift from the pile OR steal the gift from the first person, who would then have to pick again. If a gift has been exchanged 3 times, then it is considered "dead" and can't be taken again. Compounding the interest is huge variety in gift quality. From bright pink mini tool sets, to "snuggies" to hand crafted pottery, to family heirlooms, you really could get just about anything. In one particularly well remembered exchange, my uncle unwisely picked a gift brought by my husband... a "Peruvian bar-b-q Set" which included a giant spatula, and Guinea pig bedding, among other things. This year, a 12 pack of beer went strangely quickly. This game gets rough, you guys. Bribing is common, and stealing is encouraged. Don't get to comfortable with that apple pie in the beautiful polish pottery dish. It won't be coming home with you.
After this, we are brought back around the table where a birthday cake sits. After singing happy birthday to Jesus and eating our cake, we start to pack up and go home. (AGAIN, something that didn't happen this year. How? How can this be?!?!)

On Christmas Morning after opening gifts, everyone gets their choice between baked oatmeal or oatmeal a la mode. We also eat some kind of egg dish and "monkey bread" If you don't know monkey bread, I am so so sorry.

I have to say, now that I am comfortably on the other side of the holidays; Christmas, while really lovely this year, lacked some of the traditions that I have come to depend on and love... Singing happy birthday to Jesus, reading the Christmas story all together as a family... I love that part of Christmas and looked forward to it. I missed it this year, and I truly hope that this doesn't mark the beginning of a trend in the family.

That type of person...

Today I was having a bit of a crisis over yoga. I know, I know. YOGA. For crying out loud, yoga is supposed to be relaxing, right? Well today it caused me some little bit of stress.

There is a gym near my house that is giving free yoga classes during the month of December (score!) and my friend invited me to go on Monday. It had been aaaaages since I had last been to a yoga class (Years. Ages=Years. Before Amelia was born. Ok, ok. before she was even conceived.) but I went with her and another friend, and loved it. I've always had some degree of insecurity about my body and I've never been at all sporty (tangent: I played field hockey and basketball in school because my friends did. I lived in absolute dread that they would actually make me play in a game.) and I have no natural talent for those kinds of activities. But at the yoga class, I was astounded to realize that even though I hadn't stepped into a gym in ages, even though I didn't stretch out or do anything at home, I was already pretty good at yoga. I have next to no muscle to come to my aid, it is true, so I need to up my strength, but I am naturally very flexible and I was able to do more advanced poses that I thought would be impossible for me to do. (Put my head where? It doesn't reach... what? Wow, ok, never mind. I guess it does.) The idea that you are naturally good at something is a powerful force!

This all sounds like a good thing! Why the stress, Emily? Honestly, its partially because I don't know a whole lot about yoga: its history and its background, but sometimes yoga gets associated with mysticism and beliefs that, as a Christian, I don't subscribe to. I wonder whether I should be doing yoga when it doesn't necessarily align with my beliefs. That is the crux of my difficulties, and certainly the most important and weighty part.

There is also a part of me (a more vain part to be sure) dreads becoming a certain "type" of person. Oh, gosh this sounds so stupid, to write out, but its true! Over the past couple of years, I have been getting more environmentally conscious (the words "crunchy" and "hippie" have been used MANY times), more minimalist in my ideas, and more liberal on a political scale. I use reusable grocery bags, make my own laundry detergent, wash my hair with baking soda and vinegar, use essential oils, have gotten rid of a crap ton of stuff and am constantly on the lookout for more to donate to goodwill, buy secondhand, research companies before I buy from them to ensure that they don't encroach on human rights, only eat fair trade chocolate... this is just a taste, the list goes on. I'm not bragging or anything, these don't make me a better person, they are just things I do. It just seems uncanny how seamlessly yoga fits in. My husband says he's been "waiting for this to happen for awhile now" (along with me getting rid of all my bras it is true, but however comfortable that would be that is so not happening. This girl cannot go about with the ladies hanging free.) Its just one more piece that would make me "that type of person" (whatever "that type is") and it bothers me that maybe I'm not terribly unique.

OK, so that was my rant. And some parts of it read as badly as I feared it would, but there you go. Oversharing, maybe. But a real look into my head. Make of it what you will.

Oh, one more thing though... I'd be remiss if I didn't say how grateful I am to my husband for being my sounding board with all of this madness. Talking with him always makes me feel a bit better, and even a bit more sane. Love you, Andy!

Overfed

Me: (after listening to the dog whining in the next room) What on earth does she want?

Andy: Either assistance or reassurance. Probably assistance. Our pug is not the spring chicken she once was.

Me: ...

Andy: Now she is 2 spring chickens. 

Ok, so our dog is a bit overweight. Its not my fault! Its the children! Really! No, really, it is! They feed her (on purpose or not), at every single meal. I think maybe we need to back off the dog food...

Also, on a tangential note...  I may have a bit of a girl crush on Madeleine of www.sweetmadeleine.ca So if occasionally the content of my posts looks a teensy bit like hers... Well, now you know why.

Christmas Tradtions (On the Warren Side)

By the power of youtube, a damp microfiber cloth, and compressed air, my space key has been fixed. And I don't mind telling you that I feel pretty accomplished now. I could totally work in the apple store, fixing space keys.

The family at Longwood Gardens

One of the beautiful things about folks getting married is that it combines 2 people with different family traditions, and together you get to pick and choose your favorites, and even start some new ones. Andy and I already have adopted a bunch of traditions in the 5 years that we have been married, some old, some new. Initially I was going to just combine them all in one post, but each family just has its own flavor, and I thought deserved their own posts.

From Andy's side of the family, the biggest traditions mostly come before the day itself. The highlights are picking the tree, going to Longwood Gardens to see the Christmas lights, and decorating the house.

When it comes to trees, there are 2 tree picking methods, the new and the old. The new method is the one currently in use by Andy's family. His parents have an exceedingly high ceiling in their living room, you see, and they always take advantage of its height by getting the biggest flipping tree they can possibly find. These trees have been given up by the tree farms as impossible to sell, because no one wants or can fit a 20 ft tree in the living room. They somehow break the laws of physics to get it through the door, and get many ladders to decorate it. One year, they only managed to string lights on the bottom two thirds of the tree. That's all they could reach people. I tried to find a picture to post, but I can't find one for the life of me.
Andy and I, who have normal ceilings in our house, adopted the old Christmas tree tradition in picking out a live tree, with a bulb intact so that it could be planted once Christmas was over. We even added to the tradition in a way. We always pick a white pine now, because they do the best in our soil. The other trees that we picked in previous years are a bit stunted, where they survived at all. So while a white pine may not be the most traditional of Christmas Trees, it has become our go to. We picked out our tree yesterday, a feat made easy by the fact that they only had 3 white pines bulb-d. Amelia wasn't terribly interested in the tree-picking. She liked to play in the mud and to look at the big tree grabber that loaded the tree into the truck that we borrowed from Andy's dad.

Behold, our tree, trussed up and ready to take home.

Longwood Gardens is about an hour and a half away from our house, and every year they decorate the whole park lavishly for Christmas. Lights everywhere. It is tradition for the Warrens to go around Christmas to freeze our little tails off watching the fountain display and admire the outside lights, to walk around to get some hot chocolate, cider or mulled wine and then to walk the conservatory look at the displays in a warmer setting. Longwood Gardens has become one of the favorite things that we do each year... and this year we are planning on doing it twice. 
 Quick (adorable) note: Amelia really loved the musical fountain display in particular. She just so happened to mix up the word "fountain" with "mountain" and was talking about the "fairy mountains" all evening. So cute! Now we went this year when it was relatively warm but it is usually freezing cold out, so bundle up for the outside lights! 

"Look at the pretty flowers!"

As for the decorating with the Warrens, the Christmas decorations aren't anything extravagant. just a few lights and some personalized stockings and all, but the thing is... my family never really decorated for Christmas. One extraordinary year, my mom hung a wreath on the door and put those fake candles in the windows, and this attempt blew our minds. Now, my family does a tree and stockings and always have, but that is IT for decorations. So we went with the Warren tradition of... you know... actually decorating. 

Oh, one other tradition that we adopted from the Warren side is that they got to pick out one small gift from their stockings on Christmas Eve. We all love the little taste before the "big day". 

So that's it for the Warren traditions that we are carrying on. Later, I will have to tell you about the Davidson Family traditions. 

What are some of your favorite holiday traditions?